As the title suggests, I’m in a pretty grumpy mood today. It’s one of those “Does everybody hate me?” funks I sometimes find myself in when anxiety rears it’s angry head.
There’s hasn’t been an argument or any kind of falling out with person X or Y, but naturally, when anxiety is high alert, it goes after it’s favorite scapegoat, moi.
Person X is always busy when you text them an amusing anecdote or something relating to a shared interest, and never seem to reach out when they are free.
Person Y frequently reads your perfectly nice message on Facebook, and doesn’t respond, yet you see them chatting away to others.
Conclusion? You’re a pest and everyone hates you because you’re scum.
Maybe Person X is actually quite busy, and doing their best to balance family, friends and work. When they get a free moment they’re decompressing, and it’s not personal. They just don’t think to check in frequently like you do, they’re not hardwired that way.
And maybe Person Y has a lot going on and doesn’t have the mental energy to carry on a conversation and they don’t want to be short with you, so they are waiting until they can reply properly.
I’m figuring out that anxiety is a lot of learning how to talk yourself down these thought spirals and cut yourself some slack. Which, as anyone suffering from this knows, is no easy feat. Just because you think it, doesn’t make it so, and there is always another way to look at the situation. Thoughts are just that, thoughts.